What to Do When Your Spouse Takes You For Granted
- By Dani Taylor
- Published Friday the 19th, 2008
- Marriage
- Unrated
Dani Taylor
Dani Taylor is an active members of the Xstilla.com divorce support community. He is the editor àfor he article section and the author of many articles that help people find their way through complicated cases of divorce and child support issues.
View all articles by Dani Taylor
When you’re dating someone, it seems like they have a great knack for making you feel appreciated, loved and placed upon a pedestal. However, as daily lives take over and we have to worry about finances, careers, children and the household – that pedestal seems to get lower and lower. If you’re being taken advantage of by your spouse, there are several things you can do to get the point across that you’re not happy with it. Here are some tips on what to do when your spouse takes you for granted.
Talk to Your Spouse about How You Are Feeling
The first thing you should do is talk to your spouse about how he or she is making you feel. Rather than accusing them of taking you for granted and attacking them, simply state the way you feel. Use words like ‘I feel’ rather than ‘You do.’ For instance, “I feel like I’m being taken advantage of,” rather than, “You always expect me to do this or that.” This is a great way to let your spouse know how you’re feeling without making them get defensive. Calmly and assertively tell them the way you’re feeling and you will see that it works much better than becoming angry and shouting or attacking them.
Don’t Allow It to Continue
If your spouse continues to take
you for granted, don’t allow it to happen. For instance, perhaps your spouse comes home, throws his or her dirty clothes on the floor, asks you what’s for dinner and all without a friendly kiss – stop it right there. You can simply tell your spouse that you’re busy and would he or she mind fixing dinner or innocently tell them that you didn’t know you were supposed to take care of dinner. Leave the dirty clothes right there on the floor. When you pick them up, cook dinner and continue to be taken for granted – nothing will change. Put a stop to it now so that it’s not expected.
When Nothing Works
When you are constantly being taken for granted and you’ve tried discussing it with your spouse, there may be nothing left to do but lay it out flat. If you can’t stick up for yourself, you will constantly be taken for granted? If it’s gotten to the point where you just can’t stand much more, tell your spouse that you’ve had enough. Point out that you’ve tried to let him or her know how you feel and that nothing has changed. Then, you may suggest counseling or marital therapy. This way, they know that something has to be done or they may actually lose you. That’s a way to wake them up!
When you follow the tips and tricks in this article, you can stop being taken for granted and start being treated like a real person.
Talk to Your Spouse about How You Are Feeling
The first thing you should do is talk to your spouse about how he or she is making you feel. Rather than accusing them of taking you for granted and attacking them, simply state the way you feel. Use words like ‘I feel’ rather than ‘You do.’ For instance, “I feel like I’m being taken advantage of,” rather than, “You always expect me to do this or that.” This is a great way to let your spouse know how you’re feeling without making them get defensive. Calmly and assertively tell them the way you’re feeling and you will see that it works much better than becoming angry and shouting or attacking them.
Don’t Allow It to Continue
If your spouse continues to take
When Nothing Works
When you are constantly being taken for granted and you’ve tried discussing it with your spouse, there may be nothing left to do but lay it out flat. If you can’t stick up for yourself, you will constantly be taken for granted? If it’s gotten to the point where you just can’t stand much more, tell your spouse that you’ve had enough. Point out that you’ve tried to let him or her know how you feel and that nothing has changed. Then, you may suggest counseling or marital therapy. This way, they know that something has to be done or they may actually lose you. That’s a way to wake them up!
When you follow the tips and tricks in this article, you can stop being taken for granted and start being treated like a real person.